summer 5 - bad aftermath (action, closed)

[burntviolet]

[ Hanako's night after the midsummer party was not at all the definition of restful. Thoughts kept swirling and swirling in her head, about the encounter she had with that stranger, the way it hurt her spirits and how she regretted shouting at him afterwards. Just like back then, when she shot hateful words towards Hisao like bullets piercing his weak heart.

She didn't want to have a repeat of that. It should have ended differently. A lot of things should have been different, but now she's in her bed, still in the mundane clothes she went to the party with, and she'd been staring into a dark corner of her room for hours and hours, her empty eyes aching from all the tears she poured. Even though she came here to relax, things went to hell already... and she can't help thinking it's her fault.

Jack may have noticed that she's been cooped up all morning, not even stepping out for breakfast. Might as well check on her, yeah? ]

Comments

[forever_jack]

[He shakes his head, smiling.] I have no idea how they knew we needed this, but I'm doing my best not to look the gift-horse in the mouth and all that! It's enough that they knew and we're here.

[He pauses, tilting his head as he studies her, feeling his way forward.] Was there no-one back home that you could talk to about this stuff? No-one to hash it out with and try to get some perspective on things?

[burntviolet]

[ After a bit of thought, she sips her tea and murmurs softly. ]

No. I had a therapist, but I n-never felt a connection with her. The two I had the fallout with were the only f-friends I trusted. After that... there was no one. I could lean on no one.

[ She didn't want to lean on anyone even in her state, terrified of the pitiful looks she may have gotten in case she reached out, more reminders that she's weak, broken, lesser than human. ]

[forever_jack]

[He's kind of relieved that at least she's had a therapist, at least there's been someone, even if it didn't work out.]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone. It's hard when there's no-one at all to go to for comfort.

[Though it does, he assumes, explain at least in part why she wouldn't let him hold her. If she's been used to surviving on her own, without connecting with other people, it makes sense that she'd balk at it now too.

Doesn't make him stop worrying about her, though. He gives her a thoughtful look.]

I wonder if there's any kind of therapist here? Or if they'd look into getting one? Seems like you're hardly going to be the only person here who could use one! [He gives her a self-deprecating grin.] I mean, I'm always open to talking if you want to, but I'm sure you've already gathered that I'm really not much good at this sort of thing!

[burntviolet]

[ Hanako had entertained a similar thought some time after arriving in Norrhamn, but she decided that she didn't need a professional here, that everything would be fine as long as she could have a period of a break from her painful world.

... After that incident with the stranger, she's not so confident in her own capability to keep herself in check. ]

I... might ask Olivia n-next time I see her.

[ Perhaps it's worth a try. She's not the only person who may need it, as Jack said. ]

And... thanks, for s-staying here. For talking. I... think I n-needed it.

[ He didn't have to stay. Not after she pushed him away. ]

[forever_jack]

[He nods, not wanting to push given that she's actually thinking of asking for a therapist. And smiles, warmly and sincerely, at the second part.]

No problem. I know it always helps me if I can get things off my chest - helps put things in perspective, I guess? I'm glad I could help. [He leans forward, still consciously gentle but also very earnest.] And honestly, if you ever need to talk, I'm here, okay?

[burntviolet]

[ Hanako looks down at what's left of her tea, and nods, before finishing the drink with the last couple sips.

She hesitates a moment, then holds up the empty cup towards Jack for him to take. ]

I'll remember this. Thank you...

[forever_jack]

[He takes the cup with a smile, and eases himself up out of the chair.]

Glad I could help. Anything else I can get you? Sandwich? Ice-cream? More tea?

[burntviolet]

... Any f-food would be of help.

[ She didn't eat any bit since yesterday's party, so... yeah. ]

[forever_jack]

[Oooookay. He takes a long look at her and then nods, heading for the door.]

I'll go and see what I can find. Won't be long!

[And he's not long, mainly because he feels like it's more important to get something into her than worrying about what precisely she's eating. Really, he feels like she could probably do with some broth or something really nutritious, but that would involve leaving the house to go to the store or the community centre and he doesn't really want to be away that long.

Luckily, he is a man who is used to keeping easy to eat food in stock, even if it is (fairly predictably, because this is the sort of thing he lives on) just pastries and leftover pizza. At least they were fresh this morning. He makes Hanako some more tea while he's down there and then brings it up on a big tray with a couple of sugary donuts and three large slices of ham and pineapple pizza. He raps on the door with one knuckle, just to warn her that he's back, but he's not actually waiting for an answer before going in this time, since she's already expecting him.]

Here you go. It's not that healthy, I'm afraid, but pretty good comfort food, I think!

[burntviolet]

[ Fortunately her stomach hadn't given up working to prevent lengthy emptiness. With some of her emotional burden knocked off her shoulders, Hanako will follow Jack with her eyes as he disappears behind the door and closes it.

During the wait, she thinks long and deeply about their talk. About how she can't keep going without seeing someone eventually. No matter where she is, the chances of falling back into despair are way too high. Norrhamn is a paradise that will remain as such only if she lets the people working there give her the mental help she needs.

It disgusts her. It makes her disgusted towards herself. She's hideous and broken and weak. Still, there is not much of a choice.

When Jack returns, she's sitting in the same spot in her bed he left her earlier. Her eyes glaze over the food and then at his face. Hesitation, then a little nod. ]

... I will take it.

[forever_jack]

Good girl. [He sets the tray down on the bed beside her and then straightens, giving her an affectionate smile.]

I'll leave you to it, eh? [He's sure she doesn't want him sitting there watching her eating.] But honestly, I'm around if you need me and you can always give me a call if you can't find me. Okay?

[burntviolet]

[ ... A small nod. There's relief in solitude and she feels bad for preferring that to Jack's company, but her social capacity today has been excessively flowing out and she plans to sleep through the rest of the day after the meal, hoping tomorrow will give her a better outlook. ]

... Okay.

[ She will speak no more, reaching for the food. Jack can leave whenever, but Hanako will remember his words and concede a little bit of trust for the future. ]

[forever_jack]

[He smiles, relieved that she at least intends to eat something, and gives her a nod before heading for the door, closing it quietly behind him.

He's definitely going to be checking in on her after this. He'll try to be unobtrusive about it, but he'll make sure he's around if she needs him.]