NEWCOMER MINGLE
The ferry makes a soft landing against the jetty as it has done every few days throughout summer. Aina the ferry captain, usually wearing the proud orange short sleeve of the Kollo project, has bundled up in a black wind proof jacket. The island administrator Olivia has made no such compromises, determined to cling to summer as long as possible. She greets the newcomers with a smile, handing out brochures and showing them the way to the cabins.
Around noon there'll be a small get together to welcome the new arrivals. Nothing too fancy, though the blueberry pie that's being served is almost certainly homemade and made with blueberries picked from this very island. Coffee, tea and apple cider is also available.
A FARMERS LIFE FOR ME
It's harvesting season on Norrhamn and for once, plenty of free workers to go around... right? Those who venture up to the farm will find themselves roped into the activities by hook or by crook - doesn't matter if you got farming experience, there's always something you can do. Roofs need to be patched, hay needs to be baled, vegetables picked and fruit preserved for the long, cold, harsh, dark winter that's just around the corner.
Your work won't be in vain though. If you stick with it and stay until the evening, Einar and his family will treat their volunteers to a feast to show their appreciation. There will be such autumn delicacies as värmlandskorv, kroppkaka with salted pork and lingonberry jam, and fried salted herring with pickled cucumber and red onions on crisp bread. Stay really late and we're breaking into the good snaps, my friend. ]
[ well, shit. arthur can't quite meet his eyes when he does that. he knows john too well and if john is going to cry he's probably going to start crying too. it breaks his heart to know charles was the one who had to carry that burden. it breaks his heart seeing john this way, too. he was ready to go when he died. it's knowing that he left people behind that's the hard part.
he doesn't know what to say. it had clearly been awhile -- little john, all grown up.]
You, um, [ he pokes at his blueberry pie rather than looking up at john, and then finally does look at him because this is hard enough without him making it harder on john. he'd been looking out for the other man since the day he joined their gang. why stop now? ] You look good.
[ Yeah, John can't even be mad that Arthur is barely acknowledging the weight of all this -- the more John thinks about it, the harder it gets to rein in his emotions. He really doesn't want to start crying in front of a bunch of strangers who offered to let him vacation on an island. But those same people didn't really warn him that Arthur Morgan would be at that same island as well. ]
It's been... years, and you... you should be --
[ Well, he's not gonna say it, but all he can think of is Arthur in those final moments -- handing him his things, giving him his hat... John's swallows a sob by clearing his throat, shaking only slightly as he looks back at the brochure he's nearly crushed. ]
[ arthur nods. he knows that question is more than its words. feeling alright -- that was a big deal, given how they'd last seen each other. it was more than just how are you doing, it was how are you surviving? it was, are we going to have to go through all of that again? but arthur looks healthier - underweight, still, for what he could be but not sickly so. his eyes don't look red, he doesn't look tired. ]
When they claimed it was a break, they really meant it, I guess.
[ he won't pretend to know how any of this works. he never believed in god, never believed in the afterlife. he's going to take this one step at a time because that's basically all he can do right now. thinking too hard, it just makes it more complicated. somethings you weren't meant to wrap your brain around.
he sets down his mostly eaten pie, pulls out the brochure to look at the map on it. ]
You wanna go have a look around?
[ like everything else, it's for john's benefit -- to give him an out, to get him away from the gathered people. to give him a chance to let it out if he wanted to somewhere quiet but wrapped up in the pretense of just taking a walk. ]
[ That sure is an out but John's sure as hell gonna take it. He blinks back the shred of control still left in him, looking away. He ain't a kid anymore, he should be better than this, but it's Arthur. Arthur, who gave it all for John. Nothing could've prepared him for this. ]
Y-yeah. [ His voice shakes, but he's happy to get somewhere quiter. Hell, he doesn't know where he's going, but he starts walking anyway. Maybe if he leaves, he'll turn around this'll all be some fever dream. God knows, John's been trying to cut back on his drinking for his family's sake, but... Arthur's still there when he turns around. ] I... yeah.
[ it's fine, arthur follows john. he doesn't know where they're going, either. just away from the party, and that's basically any direction. he's still there when john turns around, and following close behind. ]
[ John won't ask Arthur to keep talking, but it's good that he seems to sense John's concern. It doesn't feel real -- it can't be, but it is. It's a lot. All the feelings John has been pushing down, all the times he's held his tongue to hold back some of the pain... he can't keep doing that if Arthur's here.
Once they're a fair enough distance away from the party, John stops. He takes off his hat -- shit, it's Arthur's hat -- and just looks at him. ]
Arthur... [ John sucks in a sharp breath, tears stinging his eyes. Every awful thing he wanted to forget comes back. Those last few days, weeks, months... John reaches forward, setting a hand on his shoulder, just to check if he's real. ] Arthur.
[ sure, it's the tone he takes with his horse but john's basically spooked right now, anyway. and he's got a damn good reason for it as far as arthur's concerned. he's not going to tell him he's wrong, he's just going to try to calm him down. and, anyway, arthur's scared too. there's a lot he wants to ask that might not have great answers. there's things he wants to know that might upset john. theres things he wants to know that might make him upset, too. there was nothing wrong with being scared. ]
[ John's breath hitches, words failing him. Fuck it, he's gonna pull Arthur into a hug. He needs to know Arthur's real. He's really there. He doesn't really care how or why, but Arthur is here. He'll worry about the other shit later. ]
[ John's not crying, it's just raining on his face. He sniffles, shaking his head. ]
I ain't dead.
[ God, it just guts him to think that after everything, Arthur could still worry about him. Not that John ever doubted that this was really Arthur, but this is the kind of thing that really makes the hole in John's heart ache. It's a hole that opened up when Arthur died. ]
It's been... years, Arthur. Eight years since you...
[ he can feel himself wanting to cry, too. eight years. how could two words feel so heartbreaking and yet so promising? because here was john, looking all grown up. and yet, apparently still running from something, enough that he took the ad and decided to come here. arthur wants to wish that what he's running from isn't his memory, but he's afraid that's actually the case. ]
Tell me you ain't been fixatin' on that for eight years. Tell me you been...shit, John, I don't care, tell me anythin'. [ his drawl, his accent, become thicker the more upset he becomes. ]
[ slowly, a smile breaks on his face. john was trying. with abigail and jack. it's pride that colors his face now, almost forgetting that john had run away to this place despite whatever trying he was doing. but he'll get back to there. ]
[ Aw, but Arthur seems happy for him! That's such a rare feeling, John takes it and rolls with it. It's been eight long years of him trying, with Abigail and Jack... But talking to Arthur makes it feel like it was worth it. (Even if, yeah, things aren't great at the moment.) ]
We tried goin' up to the Yukon for a bit, but there weren't much by the time we got there... Came back down and found some work in Strawberry... on a ranch.
[ John tenses up. This is the part he didn't wanna get into. He looks away, but it's clear he's ashamed. ]
And then... well, you know how it is, Arthur. I ain't got many skills, everybody could see what I was.
[ He can't change who he is, much as he might try to. Life has a way of pulling him back into danger. ]
The ranch I was working at, Pronghorn, they were being threatened by some bad fellers. Asked me if I could help take care of it and I—I wasn't gonna do it at first, Abigail said to just let it be, but what else am I supposed to do when men show up with guns and start threatening folks? I wasn't gonna stand by and let Mr. Geddes and his boys die when they'd been good to me. I just couldn't.
[ arthur listens, quiet for a moment while he takes it all in. he would have done the same, of course. how could he have let someone die who had given him a roof over his head? ]
[ John looks away. He's not proud of it, even if he'd do it again if it came back to it. He's just not the kind of man who'd stand by and let people die. ]
She left me, Arthur. Took the boy and... she left.
[ it's an old story, by now. but not one he thought he'd ever hear about abigail. not when she'd ridden with them for so long. not when she could handle a gun as good as the rest of them. ]
I'm sorry to hear that, John.
[ at least the break makes more sense, given that. ]
[ YEah, John's running from his problems, as usual. He's hardest on himself most of all -- for once, he's not making excuses. He knows he done fucked up. ]
I want to be good enough for her. I wanna give her the life she and Jack deserve, but I -- I ain't no rancher, or farmer besides. All the things I'm good at ain't worth shit if I can't... [ Ah, he's back to. Well, he's not crying, but he does take a deep breath, doing his best to try not to cry. He's been holding on to this helplessness for a while -- he wouldn't share it with anyone else. ] I just... I don't know, Arthur. I don't know.
[ and he does. because he knows what it felt like when mary broke off their engagement, because he wasn't good enough for her awful, bastard of a father. he can't tell john how to be a normal man. he can't tell him how to be a rancher or a farmer, or how to be anything but a gun-carrying outlaw. but he does know that abigail isn't mary, and he had the opportunity to get to know abigail pretty well before everything. ]
Abigail, she's a good girl. She gets scared, just like the rest of us. She seen a lot of folk die the last few -- well, before, I guess, since it's been awhile for you. When we was all with Dutch, I mean. She wants what's best for Jack, and that ain't the life we was all leading.
[ he wishes he were better with words, for john, but he keeps struggling his way through them even so. ]
You just gotta keep trying, John. Maybe bein' around here will help that. I mean, it seems like they took all our weapons so you ain't got a choice, even if you wanted to shoot somebody! [ hilarious - no, but really he had a really nice pearl handled pistol he'd really like back rip :'( ] And when you go back, then you just keep tryin' and she'll see it, eventually. The two of you...you're meant to be together. This'll all sort itself out.
[ John nods. Arthur's right. Arthur usually is. Or was. Except he's here now, so maybe this really will be John's chance. If anyone can help John actually learn something -- real skills, not just killing people, it's Arthur. John doesn't have to feel so damn helpless if Arthur's here. Somehow things always worked out when he was around. ]
Yeah, I figure I might, y'know, learn a thing or two -- maybe I can impress Abigail or even Jack if I can manage it.
[ He and Jack are so different... but that's good. Jack and his books, his fear of death and guns and violence. It'd be better for him to stay that way. It'd be better for all of them. ]
Thanks, Arthur. I feel... I feel a whole lot lighter, getting that off my chest. You're right. This'll be my chance.
[ A chance to change who he is? Or a chance to get better at hiding it? Who knows? One thing's for sure: ]
What about you? How're you even here? I told you I wasn't dead and that's still true -- most everybody went their separate ways after... well, after.
[ he's happy to hear that what he said helped, but he doesn't dwell on it, for john's sake. besides, then those questions come. the ones he doesn't really know the answer to. ]
Well, I...I got an advertisement. Couldn't tell you how it happened. It wasn't like the devil went and handed it to me himself.
[ ha ha that's a joke he doesn't believe in heaven or hell (but if he did, he'd definitely be in hell that part is not joke.) ]
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he doesn't know what to say. it had clearly been awhile -- little john, all grown up.]
You, um, [ he pokes at his blueberry pie rather than looking up at john, and then finally does look at him because this is hard enough without him making it harder on john. he'd been looking out for the other man since the day he joined their gang. why stop now? ] You look good.
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It's been... years, and you... you should be --
[ Well, he's not gonna say it, but all he can think of is Arthur in those final moments -- handing him his things, giving him his hat... John's swallows a sob by clearing his throat, shaking only slightly as he looks back at the brochure he's nearly crushed. ]
You... You feeling alright?
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When they claimed it was a break, they really meant it, I guess.
[ he won't pretend to know how any of this works. he never believed in god, never believed in the afterlife. he's going to take this one step at a time because that's basically all he can do right now. thinking too hard, it just makes it more complicated. somethings you weren't meant to wrap your brain around.
he sets down his mostly eaten pie, pulls out the brochure to look at the map on it. ]
You wanna go have a look around?
[ like everything else, it's for john's benefit -- to give him an out, to get him away from the gathered people. to give him a chance to let it out if he wanted to somewhere quiet but wrapped up in the pretense of just taking a walk. ]
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Y-yeah. [ His voice shakes, but he's happy to get somewhere quiter. Hell, he doesn't know where he's going, but he starts walking anyway. Maybe if he leaves, he'll turn around this'll all be some fever dream. God knows, John's been trying to cut back on his drinking for his family's sake, but... Arthur's still there when he turns around. ] I... yeah.
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It's okay. I'm comin'.
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Once they're a fair enough distance away from the party, John stops. He takes off his hat -- shit, it's Arthur's hat -- and just looks at him. ]
Arthur... [ John sucks in a sharp breath, tears stinging his eyes. Every awful thing he wanted to forget comes back. Those last few days, weeks, months... John reaches forward, setting a hand on his shoulder, just to check if he's real. ] Arthur.
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[ sure, it's the tone he takes with his horse but john's basically spooked right now, anyway. and he's got a damn good reason for it as far as arthur's concerned. he's not going to tell him he's wrong, he's just going to try to calm him down. and, anyway, arthur's scared too. there's a lot he wants to ask that might not have great answers. there's things he wants to know that might upset john. theres things he wants to know that might make him upset, too. there was nothing wrong with being scared. ]
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[ John's breath hitches, words failing him. Fuck it, he's gonna pull Arthur into a hug. He needs to know Arthur's real. He's really there. He doesn't really care how or why, but Arthur is here. He'll worry about the other shit later. ]
I can't believe you're here.
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What are you doin' here, though? You're still -- you ain't --
[ he can't finish the question. ]
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I ain't dead.
[ God, it just guts him to think that after everything, Arthur could still worry about him. Not that John ever doubted that this was really Arthur, but this is the kind of thing that really makes the hole in John's heart ache. It's a hole that opened up when Arthur died. ]
It's been... years, Arthur. Eight years since you...
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Tell me you ain't been fixatin' on that for eight years. Tell me you been...shit, John, I don't care, tell me anythin'. [ his drawl, his accent, become thicker the more upset he becomes. ]
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[ John shakes his head. Seven years... he's been trying. Maybe not as much as he could be, but he's been trying. ]
I been... I been trying. With Jack and Abigail, we was... we tried a few things, you know. Honest living.
[ Emphasis on "trying." ]
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You serious?
[ slowly, a smile breaks on his face. john was trying. with abigail and jack. it's pride that colors his face now, almost forgetting that john had run away to this place despite whatever trying he was doing. but he'll get back to there. ]
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[ Aw, but Arthur seems happy for him! That's such a rare feeling, John takes it and rolls with it. It's been eight long years of him trying, with Abigail and Jack... But talking to Arthur makes it feel like it was worth it. (Even if, yeah, things aren't great at the moment.) ]
We tried goin' up to the Yukon for a bit, but there weren't much by the time we got there... Came back down and found some work in Strawberry... on a ranch.
[ MMmmMmmM yeah, that went well, huh. ]
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[ he laughs, fond. it's strange to imagine, but john has gotten bigger - he must really be working like he said. ]
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[ Still not too good at it, but part of him wants to keep Arthur sounding proud of him, so he won't break that spell. ]
But I started usin' an alias just like you used to. Was hoping I could start over with Jack and Abigail.
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And then what happened?
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And then... well, you know how it is, Arthur. I ain't got many skills, everybody could see what I was.
[ He can't change who he is, much as he might try to. Life has a way of pulling him back into danger. ]
The ranch I was working at, Pronghorn, they were being threatened by some bad fellers. Asked me if I could help take care of it and I—I wasn't gonna do it at first, Abigail said to just let it be, but what else am I supposed to do when men show up with guns and start threatening folks? I wasn't gonna stand by and let Mr. Geddes and his boys die when they'd been good to me. I just couldn't.
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She wasn't too happy about that, I take it.
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She left me, Arthur. Took the boy and... she left.
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[ it's an old story, by now. but not one he thought he'd ever hear about abigail. not when she'd ridden with them for so long. not when she could handle a gun as good as the rest of them. ]
I'm sorry to hear that, John.
[ at least the break makes more sense, given that. ]
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[ YEah, John's running from his problems, as usual. He's hardest on himself most of all -- for once, he's not making excuses. He knows he done fucked up. ]
I want to be good enough for her. I wanna give her the life she and Jack deserve, but I -- I ain't no rancher, or farmer besides. All the things I'm good at ain't worth shit if I can't... [ Ah, he's back to. Well, he's not crying, but he does take a deep breath, doing his best to try not to cry. He's been holding on to this helplessness for a while -- he wouldn't share it with anyone else. ] I just... I don't know, Arthur. I don't know.
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[ and he does. because he knows what it felt like when mary broke off their engagement, because he wasn't good enough for her awful, bastard of a father. he can't tell john how to be a normal man. he can't tell him how to be a rancher or a farmer, or how to be anything but a gun-carrying outlaw. but he does know that abigail isn't mary, and he had the opportunity to get to know abigail pretty well before everything. ]
Abigail, she's a good girl. She gets scared, just like the rest of us. She seen a lot of folk die the last few -- well, before, I guess, since it's been awhile for you. When we was all with Dutch, I mean. She wants what's best for Jack, and that ain't the life we was all leading.
[ he wishes he were better with words, for john, but he keeps struggling his way through them even so. ]
You just gotta keep trying, John. Maybe bein' around here will help that. I mean, it seems like they took all our weapons so you ain't got a choice, even if you wanted to shoot somebody! [ hilarious - no, but really he had a really nice pearl handled pistol he'd really like back rip :'( ] And when you go back, then you just keep tryin' and she'll see it, eventually. The two of you...you're meant to be together. This'll all sort itself out.
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Yeah, I figure I might, y'know, learn a thing or two -- maybe I can impress Abigail or even Jack if I can manage it.
[ He and Jack are so different... but that's good. Jack and his books, his fear of death and guns and violence. It'd be better for him to stay that way. It'd be better for all of them. ]
Thanks, Arthur. I feel... I feel a whole lot lighter, getting that off my chest. You're right. This'll be my chance.
[ A chance to change who he is? Or a chance to get better at hiding it? Who knows? One thing's for sure: ]
What about you? How're you even here? I told you I wasn't dead and that's still true -- most everybody went their separate ways after... well, after.
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Well, I...I got an advertisement. Couldn't tell you how it happened. It wasn't like the devil went and handed it to me himself.
[ ha ha that's a joke he doesn't believe in heaven or hell (but if he did, he'd definitely be in hell that part is not joke.) ]
I answered it and I showed up here.
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